Another Anniversary

Musings.

A year has past, yet again, in this life I am living. I suppose it is somewhat natural, then, to look back and decide how one feels about time spent, things seen or experienced, and overall success. I cannot help but feel that I have not accomplished much of anything, aside from simply surviving. Now were my goals quite simple and were survival quite unassured, I would possibly be extremely content. I do have goals, though, and I would very much like to accomplish something with this life while I have it.

Then I lead straight away to considering how is it that we as humans define success over time. Certainly it is the sort of thing to be determined by each individual, but as I look at others' definitions I have a hard time relating to any of them. I have no interest in money, nor power, nor fame. I have relatively small aims and perhaps that is what is disappointing. If I were to reach higher and still not achieve, then I would be able to say, well I desired too much.

All of this aside, I was able to see much, I was able to speak to many, and I even enjoyed some of the work I did. At what point is it necessary to cut out things that get in the way of personal goals? Even if some of these are required?

Work?

Eat?

Sleep?

In my mind I am willing to do all that is necessary. But only the year upcoming will show my true will in these matters. And others.

Post Script: A proud moment.

Life In April

Documentary

I wore a suit last Friday. Just to see what it felt like to be in a suit in New York. At first I was hesitant, but mostly that came from the walk from my apartment to the A train. I felt out of place and certainly overdressed. It only worsened on the train, as many blue collar workers joined me on our joint commute into the city. I did not feel that I was suddenly better than any of them, but I felt that they might have thought so. One woman on the train kept looking at me, but perhaps she was just curious why this lone white man was on her train, wearing a suit. If she had asked, I would not have been able to give her any real insight. Other than I was bored. And that I wanted to. Once I switched to the F train I was immediately just one of the crowd, though. It is interesting how diverse yet segregated (in a way) the trains are here. It is something that I have thought about many times since living here. Each train has a certain type of crowd, which I suppose makes sense based on the area it serves, and therefore, you could assume, the economic class it serves. But more than that, each train has a particular feel. This is a little harder to describe, but I feel, pretty obvious once you experience it. Anyway, I was way overdressed for work, of course, but there is something that nice clothes can do for you that I am interested in. Sure it can add confidence if you feel good about yourself, but is there more than that? Perhaps. I am mostly interested in it because I like the idea of the suit as a uniform. Anything that can simplify my life is interesting to me. And I doubt that any time soon, or maybe, ever, I will have the reason to wear a suit everyday. But I could see myself having one, maybe two simple black suits. A few white dress shirts, and some ties and being completely happy. Because it is a uniform in a way, but it is also so customizable. It is sort of a great thing.

[Editor's Note] After further reflection on this I decided that it was sort of an interesting social experiment. For whatever I felt, certainly by doing something out of the ordinary I inspired others to feel also. And I think that I made people uncomfortable. Everyone that I work with could not really understand that I was just wearing a suit. I can not even count the number of times that separate people asked "Where are you going?" or even the simpler, "Why?". I suppose that it was ultimately my fault for not being able to fully explain myself. But I really did not believe that I had to. For what it's worth, I think we could all use a little more of the out-of-ordinary routine.

Not sure why I was thinking about all of this, but there it is. It has gotten quite hot recently here. But only for a couple hours a day. It still cools off in the mornings and evenings and I like it. I am heading back to Florida for five days starting late Wednesday. It will be my longest time away from the city since moving here. And my first return to my prior home. It will be interesting to see how the dynamics have changed.

Nothing Is Ever Lost, On A Well-Worn Path

Observation.

As I looked across the train I could not help but notice the casually dressed gentleman standing across from me. Had it been a busier time of day he would most certainly have been obscured from view. This day, though, he was quite apparent. He was sporting an extra long trench coat, which although potentially stylish, on his average frame only served to shorten him. The peculiar aspect of this man was not his attire. Immediately after boarding he retrieved a large key ring from his backpack. The sort you would expect a janitor to carry on his hip. Upon inspecting them for a minute or two, my subject of entertainment for this commute found a number of colored key holders, the sort that encapsulate the large part of the key, in his pocket. These items were of various shapes and sizes, not in the least uniform. Yet it appeared that the intelligent organizer had a very accurate system to maintain. He would carefully select a key from his collection, remove it from the ring, add the colored label, and return it to its rightful place. It was an odd event to witness, as it seemed nearly impossible to keep track of all of these different keys. And further, one would think that adding random colors to these keys could not help to identify them in the future. Yet the wise man continued on until all that was left was a single black key holder in his palm. This last piece he considered for some time. In the end he would settle upon a key that was suitable. It was clear that this was not his ideal, but it did not seem to bother him for more than a minute. The result of this labor was a key ring twice the size of the original. I had to think, ‘why does this man have all of these keys? What is he the guardian of?’ Sure I only have three keys on my key ring, but I probably cling to things in a similar fashion. Whether it be clothing, keepsakes, or more valuable items, are they not all accessories to this life? And ultimately are they not just as useless as a key to what is likely a forgotten lock, or even an old apartment?

St. Patrick's Day

Had a pleasant evening with good friends last night. Culminating in some rather average dessert, it began quite pleasantly as I enjoyed a pint with Chris and Scott. It is a rather silly holiday in part (the part with silly hats and people in bars and people drunk by noon) but part of it is nice. I think anything that promotes friendship and consuming wonderful things should be encouraged. I suppose anything good can be tainted by hooligans though, so you just cannot expect too much. It was nice to experience it in NYC though, and as long as you avoid the bars with patrons literally spilling out on the streets you can find some nice things. A highlight was Ace Bar, which just happened to be nearly deserted and we were able to enjoy billiards and darts in relative peace. I hope wherever you were that you were able to enjoy at least a bit of it and if not, then take heart because spring is on its way (for more on this subject and a brief excerpt on current trending pop music, please visit my WordPress page).

More Of The New

Two new posts over at my WordPress location. I have not yet forsaken you, Blogger. Do not fret.

Changes Around Town

Real-Time Update

Changed some things around at my alternate blog. Not sure if I will make the switch permanently or anything just yet. But WordPress is just proving more and more superior as time goes by. Not that it is Blogger's fault. I think it just is more suitable for most things. And it looks really nice. So feel free to wander over if you like. I posted a lengthy update on the music I have encountered recently.

Hope all is well,

Freedom Blog

A FUTUREBLOG Production

I reckon that I have not updated this in quite some time. I am ambitious to bring it back to life though. First I must make my announcement of freedom. Three days ago was my last day as a full time employee of Express LLC. And having only been released for three days, I am not sure what the consequences are in full, but so far it feels right. I have wonderful plans and hopes and dreams in my head as to what I will do with my freedom. I just hope that I get around to all of them.

One of my new projects that has just got off the ground is serving as a contributor for a new music blog called Paper Trail. I have written a couple little reviews so far and am looking forward to getting more involved over the next few months, writing concert reviews, taking pictures, maybe getting into some free shows. Anyway, I will let you know how that progresses. But so far so good. And it is nice to write with a purpose again.

Another happening is my continuing work with Dan Towne Hall on his upcoming Cygnet Wings debut. I think we are nearing completion on one of the five tracks, while the others await some general clean up, a few vocal additions, and some mixing. It is all quite thrilling and will hopefully be delightful to listen to.

With the advent of my freedom, I suppose the next step is getting healthy. The doc tells me that I have a sinus infection. After taking all five doses of my antibiotic, I am not sure that I feel any better. So we will just have to hope that changes soon. Who knows.

Not sure what else there is. I am looking forward to living a life again. A real one. Things are looking up. Hope they are doing the same for you.