Another Anniversary

Musings.

A year has past, yet again, in this life I am living. I suppose it is somewhat natural, then, to look back and decide how one feels about time spent, things seen or experienced, and overall success. I cannot help but feel that I have not accomplished much of anything, aside from simply surviving. Now were my goals quite simple and were survival quite unassured, I would possibly be extremely content. I do have goals, though, and I would very much like to accomplish something with this life while I have it.

Then I lead straight away to considering how is it that we as humans define success over time. Certainly it is the sort of thing to be determined by each individual, but as I look at others' definitions I have a hard time relating to any of them. I have no interest in money, nor power, nor fame. I have relatively small aims and perhaps that is what is disappointing. If I were to reach higher and still not achieve, then I would be able to say, well I desired too much.

All of this aside, I was able to see much, I was able to speak to many, and I even enjoyed some of the work I did. At what point is it necessary to cut out things that get in the way of personal goals? Even if some of these are required?

Work?

Eat?

Sleep?

In my mind I am willing to do all that is necessary. But only the year upcoming will show my true will in these matters. And others.

Post Script: A proud moment.

Life In April

Documentary

I wore a suit last Friday. Just to see what it felt like to be in a suit in New York. At first I was hesitant, but mostly that came from the walk from my apartment to the A train. I felt out of place and certainly overdressed. It only worsened on the train, as many blue collar workers joined me on our joint commute into the city. I did not feel that I was suddenly better than any of them, but I felt that they might have thought so. One woman on the train kept looking at me, but perhaps she was just curious why this lone white man was on her train, wearing a suit. If she had asked, I would not have been able to give her any real insight. Other than I was bored. And that I wanted to. Once I switched to the F train I was immediately just one of the crowd, though. It is interesting how diverse yet segregated (in a way) the trains are here. It is something that I have thought about many times since living here. Each train has a certain type of crowd, which I suppose makes sense based on the area it serves, and therefore, you could assume, the economic class it serves. But more than that, each train has a particular feel. This is a little harder to describe, but I feel, pretty obvious once you experience it. Anyway, I was way overdressed for work, of course, but there is something that nice clothes can do for you that I am interested in. Sure it can add confidence if you feel good about yourself, but is there more than that? Perhaps. I am mostly interested in it because I like the idea of the suit as a uniform. Anything that can simplify my life is interesting to me. And I doubt that any time soon, or maybe, ever, I will have the reason to wear a suit everyday. But I could see myself having one, maybe two simple black suits. A few white dress shirts, and some ties and being completely happy. Because it is a uniform in a way, but it is also so customizable. It is sort of a great thing.

[Editor's Note] After further reflection on this I decided that it was sort of an interesting social experiment. For whatever I felt, certainly by doing something out of the ordinary I inspired others to feel also. And I think that I made people uncomfortable. Everyone that I work with could not really understand that I was just wearing a suit. I can not even count the number of times that separate people asked "Where are you going?" or even the simpler, "Why?". I suppose that it was ultimately my fault for not being able to fully explain myself. But I really did not believe that I had to. For what it's worth, I think we could all use a little more of the out-of-ordinary routine.

Not sure why I was thinking about all of this, but there it is. It has gotten quite hot recently here. But only for a couple hours a day. It still cools off in the mornings and evenings and I like it. I am heading back to Florida for five days starting late Wednesday. It will be my longest time away from the city since moving here. And my first return to my prior home. It will be interesting to see how the dynamics have changed.

Nothing Is Ever Lost, On A Well-Worn Path

Observation.

As I looked across the train I could not help but notice the casually dressed gentleman standing across from me. Had it been a busier time of day he would most certainly have been obscured from view. This day, though, he was quite apparent. He was sporting an extra long trench coat, which although potentially stylish, on his average frame only served to shorten him. The peculiar aspect of this man was not his attire. Immediately after boarding he retrieved a large key ring from his backpack. The sort you would expect a janitor to carry on his hip. Upon inspecting them for a minute or two, my subject of entertainment for this commute found a number of colored key holders, the sort that encapsulate the large part of the key, in his pocket. These items were of various shapes and sizes, not in the least uniform. Yet it appeared that the intelligent organizer had a very accurate system to maintain. He would carefully select a key from his collection, remove it from the ring, add the colored label, and return it to its rightful place. It was an odd event to witness, as it seemed nearly impossible to keep track of all of these different keys. And further, one would think that adding random colors to these keys could not help to identify them in the future. Yet the wise man continued on until all that was left was a single black key holder in his palm. This last piece he considered for some time. In the end he would settle upon a key that was suitable. It was clear that this was not his ideal, but it did not seem to bother him for more than a minute. The result of this labor was a key ring twice the size of the original. I had to think, ‘why does this man have all of these keys? What is he the guardian of?’ Sure I only have three keys on my key ring, but I probably cling to things in a similar fashion. Whether it be clothing, keepsakes, or more valuable items, are they not all accessories to this life? And ultimately are they not just as useless as a key to what is likely a forgotten lock, or even an old apartment?

St. Patrick's Day

Had a pleasant evening with good friends last night. Culminating in some rather average dessert, it began quite pleasantly as I enjoyed a pint with Chris and Scott. It is a rather silly holiday in part (the part with silly hats and people in bars and people drunk by noon) but part of it is nice. I think anything that promotes friendship and consuming wonderful things should be encouraged. I suppose anything good can be tainted by hooligans though, so you just cannot expect too much. It was nice to experience it in NYC though, and as long as you avoid the bars with patrons literally spilling out on the streets you can find some nice things. A highlight was Ace Bar, which just happened to be nearly deserted and we were able to enjoy billiards and darts in relative peace. I hope wherever you were that you were able to enjoy at least a bit of it and if not, then take heart because spring is on its way (for more on this subject and a brief excerpt on current trending pop music, please visit my WordPress page).

More Of The New

Two new posts over at my WordPress location. I have not yet forsaken you, Blogger. Do not fret.

Changes Around Town

Real-Time Update

Changed some things around at my alternate blog. Not sure if I will make the switch permanently or anything just yet. But WordPress is just proving more and more superior as time goes by. Not that it is Blogger's fault. I think it just is more suitable for most things. And it looks really nice. So feel free to wander over if you like. I posted a lengthy update on the music I have encountered recently.

Hope all is well,

Freedom Blog

A FUTUREBLOG Production

I reckon that I have not updated this in quite some time. I am ambitious to bring it back to life though. First I must make my announcement of freedom. Three days ago was my last day as a full time employee of Express LLC. And having only been released for three days, I am not sure what the consequences are in full, but so far it feels right. I have wonderful plans and hopes and dreams in my head as to what I will do with my freedom. I just hope that I get around to all of them.

One of my new projects that has just got off the ground is serving as a contributor for a new music blog called Paper Trail. I have written a couple little reviews so far and am looking forward to getting more involved over the next few months, writing concert reviews, taking pictures, maybe getting into some free shows. Anyway, I will let you know how that progresses. But so far so good. And it is nice to write with a purpose again.

Another happening is my continuing work with Dan Towne Hall on his upcoming Cygnet Wings debut. I think we are nearing completion on one of the five tracks, while the others await some general clean up, a few vocal additions, and some mixing. It is all quite thrilling and will hopefully be delightful to listen to.

With the advent of my freedom, I suppose the next step is getting healthy. The doc tells me that I have a sinus infection. After taking all five doses of my antibiotic, I am not sure that I feel any better. So we will just have to hope that changes soon. Who knows.

Not sure what else there is. I am looking forward to living a life again. A real one. Things are looking up. Hope they are doing the same for you.

February Begins And So Do We

Update

Dear readers, we have already blown through an entire month of this new year. And although it has gone by quickly, I feel alive. More-so than years past. This truly is a year for following your dreams and accomplishing things that you have put off in the past. It is slightly discomforting, but I cannot help but feel that the end will be worth it. So take heart, if any of you are feeling concerned, or uneasy. Things are never as bad as they seem, and although it often appears that we have no choice in this life, ultimately we are the controlling factor. And there is always a choice.

My associates and I attended a fabulous Lost-themed event last night. It was really a sight to behold. Free island-inspired cocktails from 7-8, a Lost-themed band (including a sing-a-long refrain "I once was found, but now I'm lost, and all my friends are dead" right before the show began) and comedy show (though horrible) 8-9, and then two hours of glorious t.v., the likes of which no movie could best. The venue (The Bell House, in Brooklyn) had every little detail in place, even down to the replica Oceanic Air raffle tickets (I may have to take a picture of this to prove it, I didn't believe it either). The show was great, and no doubt was aided by the crowd. They were (maybe 400 or so) at once enthusiastic and thoughtful. No word was missed, but there was plenty of cheering. Taking an emotional ride the likes of two hours of Lost, with 400 strangers joined by a common interest is such a great feeling. And only in New York. I am sure there were Lost parties elsewhere. But how could they compete? Next step is to call my dear friend C. Ryan Fields for an update.

Good luck with the rest of the week,

Into Poverty I Go (Deeper)

Reality

I will be leaving my 'cushy' full time position with Express LLC. This will happen in two weeks. And by leaving I mean stepping into a part-time position so as to have control of my schedule. And therefore, my destiny. It was pay week this week. Which is usually so exciting. Except that the large majority is already written off to rent. And by large I mean, well, I am afraid to calculate the percentage. It may be above the ninety range. At any rate, I do not need money to be happy, but I would like to eat. And live. I am hoping that at least one of those things will be solved by leaving the retail front. But the point is, that I am already starting to fear the decision I have made. Will I be able to survive out there in the cold? I certainly stand to make more money, but while it is not guaranteed each two weeks to produce a paycheck, I think I may have entered the most impoverished time of my life. Which is exciting in a way. Half because it rather suits me being poor. Half because leaving Express could be wonderful for my mental health. I think I have reached previously unreachable levels of unappreciatedness (apologies for the created word), while employed there. So take rest, dear reader, if ever (read: when) you are unappreciated, know that there has been someone before you that has endured worse (possibly, I wouldn't dare make that claim without knowing the circumstances, of course).

Because of this poverty, I have stopped eating. Which suits me as well.

That may be all I have for now.

Cheers,

G. Alan Busch Jr.

Post Script. Traveling to Brooklyn today over the water (via bridge, the Q train) I was inspired. It may have something to do with listening to A.A. Bondy while in the train. His particular brand of folk just reminds me of the road (do listen to his latest album "When The Devil's Loose", or at the very least, its opening track "The Mightiest of Guns"). If I do not get out there soon I fear I may perish. On the spot.

And Now For The Past

Photographic Journey.

I realize that I have gotten ahead of myself. I posted some information here without really delving into the changes that have occurred of late. The pictures will tell the tale.

First. Christopher B. Hiatt comes to town. He lives on an air mattress for a time. Now he does not.

Second. In hopes of saving space, and lives, Christopher B. Hiatt, Dan Towne Hall, and myself acquire a bed from Sarah E. Ruff. We carry it one and a third miles from her apartment to ours. This takes two trips.

Third. We set up the new bed. We acquire further storage solutions from a local retailer. We rejoice.

This really did happen. It takes a long time to move things in the city. But, the adventure continues. Good luck to everybody out there.

Post Script: February approaches, along with my six month milestone in this location. I could not help but feel the other day, that I belonged here.

Making Our Way Through

Documentary.

Crunch time has arrived at Dean St. Studio (the name I just invented for our apartment). Dan Towne Hall has announced his official departure date as January 31st. It pains me to say that he will be leaving us. But over the next two weeks there will be many distractions. First and foremost we are attempting to finish all the recording we have left so that I might be able to mix the tracks after he leaves, and through the magic of the interwebs, come to an agreement on the mixes, and finally have a worthy copy of these songs that have been on our minds for nearly six months now. It is exciting to me because I think every time I have attempted to record something by myself I never end up seeing the completed product. And I feel (and hope) that we will be proud of the result. I know that I will be excited to share it when it is done.

I will update this post at a later date with a photograph or two of our newly arranged apartment. With the advent of Christopher B. Hiatt moving in, it took a little work (and a free bed courtesy of Sarah E. Ruff) and a little Ikea, but we are excited about the newfound space. For now, as a teaser, let us just say that we comfortably fit three beds into our bedroom. And over the next three weeks we will be hosting various siblings and guests in our living room. It is an interesting time in Brooklyn. And 2010 still looks promising.

Edit: Days later, I get around to locating the internet. And having thought ahead to upload some new photographs, have arrived to add the promised media.

From Top:

One. Look at how perplexed our face is.

Two. Out of focus. I cannot help but like it even though it shows nothing.

Three. New shoe racks. Maybe the best addition.

Four. Living area. Although it has already changed to house more tenants, note the new shelf on the left wall. Now stop looking at it. It is ours.

Five. New bed install. New arrangement. Three mattresses in one room. Beneath photo lies Dan, sort of 'L' shape with the new bed. So he is half underneath our mini-loft. The pillow at the top of photo is the head of the third bed. I don't have to mention the hanging solution that sections off the room. Multi-purpose. Multi-faceted. Multi-mate.

Cheers,

G. Alan Busch Jr.

Post script. I recently decided that I am going to be famous. Maybe this is the year.

Post post script. I love wordplay. I may be addicted. Also this post has given me formatting headaches. It feels like an ice cream headache made of paragraphs.

Post post post script. Christopher B. Hiatt found ourselves at Bryant Park on one of the last days of the free ice skating rink. The line was long, and we were busy, but it was nice to see.

The Great Escape

Documentary

The non-fiction posts continue I am afraid. Though I am happily considering my next fictional post.

This year has brought me new hope somehow. I suppose, that this could have happened at any given time, but it just so happens that it coincided with the turn of the decade.

New Years Eve 2009. Depressing. I think I worked an eleven or twelve hour shift at the store. It was particularly bad because aside from the normal 'house-keeping' tasks that I do since others are incapable (though upon consideration I imagine janitors get paid more) I had to act as a cashier for three hours. At first I was happy for the change of scenery, but quickly realised that I would not be able to leave this little area for some time. And after dealing with people (some rude, some not) for that long it made sorting hangers (yes, seriously) that much more exciting. At this point, I was ready to give up. And almost certainly had resigned myself to the upcoming year of day in and day out retail work.

New Years Day 2010. Tired. Had to be at the store early in the morning. In contrast to the previous day, however, I could not help but to begin to plan my escape. It has been a long time coming, and I have thought many times that it would be easier and safer to continue in the environment I am in (easier and safer financially maybe, not sure that refers to my sanity). Despite the risk, I began plotting and strategizing.

It is hard to go out on a limb for something that you think will make you happier. By no means do I need money to be happy, but I like to be entertained and I like to live. I think that freelancing will offer me the chance to have both of those things. And if I have to be even closer to poverty than I am now in order to be less unhappy with things, than I think I can deal with that consequence.

It has been difficult having to turn down good opportunities in the theatre world while busy at Express. I think once I no longer have to do that I will begin meeting more people that are like-minded. And more than that, people that are involved in other projects that I might be able to be a part of. Anyway that I look at it, if I do not try it soon, I am afraid that I never will.

Here goes.

The Cold Air Pushes Hard On You

Non-Fiction

The title is a reference to a song written by the Great Lake Swimmers. I will go ahead and say it is my recommendation for the day because it is fantastic. The track is titled 'Changing Colours', find it.

First, I feel bad about how this year has started for my blog.

Neglected.

Ignored.

Cold.

But I am rather determined to overcome this start and refresh the content herein. I began to draft a post on the train the other day, and will attempt to follow my notes here, but because of my lack of writing I fear that it will be a disjointed post. But you have to start somewhere.

As with anything New York and winter, I should begin with the cold. It is all-encompassing (though recent small victory, the heat the in apartment has increased from a slightly bearable average of 60 to a relatively comfortable average 68). Despite how cutting the cold and wind can be (and its true, no layers can stop the wind when it gusts anywhere from 30-40 miles per hour), it is inspiring in a way. Something about the cold makes me feel a strong need to have only what I need for survival with me anytime I leave my apartment. This has always been an attractive idea to me, and I am fairly certain that I would be much happier if I only owned what I could fit on my back.

This has made me think how it is so easy in this life to gather things that we do not need yet feel compelled in some way to own or to have nearby. Before my move to the city I felt pretty positive about the push I made to rid myself of items that I either did not use or determined that I did not need. By no means did I rid myself of all my belongings, but I was content with the amount of stuff I had at that point. And already, a mere six months later I feel burdened with the new things I have acquired. I am not sure how it all happens so quickly. But it will be a tendency that I will fight for the rest of my days.

Oh to be on the road with nothing holding me back.

GAB

Post script. CBH's triumphant return to NYC is now realised. I have included a photo as a means of proof (and for all you iphone users the CameraBag app is wonderful). You can find his blog here.

Post post script. Passion Pit with Robin and the above was a success. Odds were they would let us down, but it was with joy that we received their very tidy and sincere performance (at a completely sold out Terminal 5, line of sight was slightly obscured, but here is what I captured).